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How to kill a vampire for dummies

How to kill a vampire for dummies

Hollywood’s obsession with evil supernatural creatures has recently reached its peak. Movies introduce many ways to kill these creatures of the night—from simple garlic to more complex rituals that derive from myths. One of the basic rules is to do it while they sleep.Let’s review the most effective techniques.

Let them tan a little. The first thing you need to do is to detect their sanctuary where they hide from the dangerous sun. Be careful approaching them. Modern vampires can even set up alarm systems like people do in ordinary homes. Beware of the dark corners where the sun is a stranger. When exposed to the sun vampire will panic and hide there without a pre-planned escape.

There are many types of vampires, but most of them don’t really like been staked in the heart. Some of them will die immediately (granted, the weapon has to be wooden), some will be paralyzed. In case the vampire is only paralyzed do not pull the stake out of his heart—he will “rot into oblivion”. To assure your safety (and the wellbeing of your descendants) immerse the body into concrete.

If a vampire cannot escape their tomb you will be safe from any future vengeance.

Weaken his minions. You can use poison, guns or even unconventional weapons to get rid of his human support system. Of course, he will know that somebody is after him but without a strong backup he is weaker.

What is more, you can use his “employees” to get extra information about what can kill a vampire. Not all of them are happy with their masters and some will be willing to help you. Depending on the nature of their relationship with the vampire they also can depend on the master and betray you.

Get medieval on them. Arm yourself with an ax or a some kind of blade (or even with ninja stars—the best martial arts weapon of all time) and start chopping. And make sure he is deformed enough to see the final death. You may even start with multiple shooters as a run-up.

Old-timey dirty tricks. You are a human being and you know how to pull the strings surreptitiously. Deprive him of his home, destroy his blood stocks. Make sure that the confidentiality of their supernatural existence is endangered. If they are discovered, human masses will use all possible technologies to destroy them.

Vampires are usually vulnerable to fire. Make a bonfire, just ensure that he has nothing to counteract it.

And remember: an angry vampire is a hungry vampire.

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